Claude

"'You FOOL! I'm already 4 Ultimates ahead of you!'"Claude is a smug magician who's probably got some ulterior motive for everything he does. Gives you candy? Ulterior motive. Adopts a child? Ulterior motive. Steals your knees? Well that's just obvious.

If I could sum up his entire character in 1 word, it would be smartass. He's unnecessarily cryptic just to piss you off and work you up for no good reason. If you're broke, he'll repeatedly flex his money. If he finds any weakness, he will antagonize you for it. For this reason, he's repeatedly assaulted by Tsumugi and Mahiru. As soon the karma kicks in, he starts acting like the victim and sobbing. Essentially, he's Kokichi minus the lying and childish nature. Speaking of Kokichi, his LEGAL boyfriend is Kokichi Ouma. It is canon as stated by sweet_bei-- I mean claude himself

Hatty likes him a bit less than the others, which is what makes this character VERY special. He has a BIOLOGICAL child with kokichi oma named Salome. She toothpaste baby

GUYS I'VE HACKED CLAUDE'S PHONE I FOUND HIS NUDES AND THE IDENTITY OF HIS SHADOW RAT IM SHAKING AND CRYING

H-H-H...Here we go!

So they're finally here, performing for you

If you know the words, you can join in too

Put your hands together if you want to clap

As we take you through this fun-ky rap! HUH!

D. K.! Donkey Kong!
 * He's the leader of the bunch. You know him well.

He's finally back to kick some tail!

[Break: 2 Measures, Monkey Yells](1)

His coconut gun can fire in spurts

If he shoots ya, [Monkey Yell] it's gonna hurt! (2)

He's bigger! faster! and stronger too!

He's the first member of the DK crew!

D. K.! Donkey Kong! HEY!

D. K.! Donkey Kong is here! [Break: 1 Measure]

This Kong's got style, so listen up dudes!

She shrinks in size to suit her mood!

[Break: 2 Measures]

She's quick n' nimble when she needs to be

She floats in air and climbs up trees!

[Break: 2 Measures]

If you choose her, you won't choose wrong

With a skip and a hop, she's ONE COOL KONG!

[Break: 2 Measures]

D. K.! Donkey Kong!

[Break: 4 Measures]

He has no style, he has no grace

This Kong...has a funny face

He can handstand when he wants to

And stretch his arms out just for you!

[Break: 1 Measure]

In-flate himself just like a balloon

This cra-zy Kong just digs this tune! HEY!

D. K.! (D. K.!) Donkey Kong!

D. K.! (D. K.!) Donkey Kong is here! [Break: 2 Measures]

He's back again, and about time, too

And this time, he's in the mood!

[Break: 2 Measures]

He can fly real high

with his jetpack on...

With his pistols out, he's one tough Kong!

He can make you smile when you hear his tune...

[Break: 1 Measure]

But, Kremlings beware

'cause he's out after you!

D. K.! Donkey Kong!

D. K.! Donkey Kong!

(fading)

D. K.! Donkey Kong!

D. K....

Fi-nal-ly, he's here for you!

It's the LAST member of the D. K. crew!

This Kong's...so strong, it isn't funny!

Can make a Kremling cry out for Mummy!

[Break: 2 Measures]

He can pick up a boulder with relative ease

Makes crushing rocks seem such a breeze

He may move slow; he can't jump high

But this Kong's one heck of a guy! Hehehe... [Break: 2 Measures]

Come on Cranky!

Take it to the stage!
 * Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells!

Grapes, melons, oranges, and coconut shells!

** REPEAT

Oh, yeah!